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Taken from a comment on -->

Also, is our society approaching the decadence of ancient Rome? Is this a warning signal? No way to tell by this suspicion alone.

It's entertaining AND useful )
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Ladies, come over here and sit with your Uncle Remix awhile.

There comes a point in a boy's life when he must leave the halcyon days of his youth behind him and start upon the long and treacherous road of Manhood.

During this time, the young boy experiences many new things, chief among them being


Now ladies, watch closely and be thankful that your brain will never be affected by this mind-altering drug.

THIS is why guys are different. You can hardly blame them, can you? Imagine if you were taking strong drugs that made you act like THIS:

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Men and women, pros and cons.

Pros, men:
-get to dress sloppy and get away with it. Jeans, t-shirt, beat-up shoes? No problem!
-only societal expectations are to make money and pay taxes. MAYBE raise a family. If you're still single in your 40's, you're good to go.
-most of the cultural dress expectations cater to what MEN find beautiful, so we get to look at attractive women most of the time. Woo hoo! :)
-ability to have relationships with younger women at an older age. Since guys attractiveness isn't all physical, we can age gracefully and still be attractive. I'm trying to think of examples here...Harrison Ford, Jack Nicholson...

Cons, men:
-slave to raging hormones. Testosterone usually intereferes with neuron activity. I'm sure science will prove this one day.
-have to shave.
-expected to be the macho muscular man. Not everybody's personality fits that.

Pros, women:
-in a phrase...MULTI-ORGASMIC! Every man is extremely jealous, believe me.
-have nice things done for them by men. Admittadly, it's because the guys usually want some, but hey, if he's willing to hold the door/pay for lunch/fix your car for free, wouldn't you be tempted to accept? I'd be like, "Hell yes you can buy me that!! Shoot, here's a list!".
-get to ask men to do the hard work (stereotypical, I don't agree with this).
-get treated nice by men most times
-apparently getting near-orgasmic pleasure from chocolate...I just don't get it. *sad*

Cons, women:
-Guys, how would you like to be hit on every single day FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE???? And we're not talking about beautiful women hitting on you, OH NO. We're talking ugly women in their 50's who don't take care of themselves and smell, leering at you, brushing up against you when you're on the bus. How 'bout THEM apples every other day?
-getting creepy, aggressive looks from the same women as you're waiting to cross the street. Jesus Christ, control yourself!
-having dates expect more out of you than you want to give. "No, I don't want to go home with you..." (Repeat 50 times).
-having old friends suddenly reveal, in an emotional outburst, that they have loved you forever, thereafter turning creepy and ruining the friendship. Great...just great...
-getting stalked. Double yay.
-rape. Horrible.
-feeling societal pressure everytime you buy groceries to LOOK LIKE HER! LOSE 10 POUNDS! FIX YOUR SEX LIFE, 'CAUSE YOU'RE DOING SOMETHING WRONG!
-having to look nice at all times or have people comment, "Jeez, you don't look so good today/you look REALLY tired...".
-expected to marry by thirties or "oh my gosh! she's not married yet? what's wrong?".
-have to shave...a lot more than men. (LEGS! I MEAN LEGS!!)
-have to give birth..."HOLY CRAP THAT HURTS OMFG..." etc...*shudder*
-mood swings and hormonal emotions


I used to be jealous of women because of *cough* the multi-orgasmic ability, but I think, after writing this list, that it's MUCH easier and calmer to be a guy. Hooray for chance! :)


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December 2009

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